It is hard to say where it all started, but when I think about it, I believe the meteor crashing into the barn is when things changed. We tried to ignore them at first. But when they started breaking in and smashing things, we couldn’t ignore them anymore. They were zombies. Reanimated dead, but not like in the movies. Our zombies only ate cake, but they were vile, disgusting creatures nonetheless. It is quite unnerving to see a rotting former human sitting at your kitchen table eating a piece of chocolate cake and moaning, oozing slime and decaying before your very eyes. It was yellow cake with chocolate frosting, my favorite. “I made that cake for me, not you Zombie!” Sometimes I just want to cry (tears).Z
A wise man once said, “If life gives you lemons, then make lemonade.” I think that sounds like an awful lot of work. I usually just pee my pants and that kind of looks like I spilled lemonade on my lap…same difference.
Just the other day my nephew asked me the difference between a “Garage Sale” and a “Yard Sale.” I told him that a yard sale was when people pulled old things or things they no longer wanted out into their yard and other people would come and buy them. I then told him that a garage sale is when people leave their things in their garage, but you can come in and still buy them…and that if you waited until the owners were not at home, that’s when you got the best deals. Look…an air compressor – one penny!
Sometimes people will say, “Man, I just don’t get your sense of humor.” Really? Well, I say, “If you’d take a break for five seconds from giving CPR to that box of kittens you saved from the fire, and think, you might just ‘get’ my sense of humor you arrogant jerk.”
Sometimes when it’s late at night and I’m just drifting off to sleep, I’ll think about things… I think about friends, memories, my parrot (Mr. Feathers) and ants. Good heavens the ants!
If scientists ever built a house that would enable us to live on the sun, I’d be really excited…but not too excited, because I’m more of a moon guy.
He sat on the levy and stared out at the bayou. The sun would be coming up soon and he needed to get back to his levy- mud-cave and tell the other clown vampires that his idea that they should all wear squeaky shoes had just cost them the lives of two of the most loveable clown vampires you could ever meet. (Rest in peace Fangy and Joel)