Burning My Journal

I started keeping a journal at a very early age.  My first journals were composed of pictures that depicted what was going on in my life at the time.  (Similar to cave drawing, but less violent and with fewer Mammoths).

After I learned to read and write, the quality of the journals vastly improved and I journaled steadily through my teen and high school years. 

 I was the only child in a very large family and I was always petrified that someone would find my journals and read them.  These were meant just for me and I recorded and detailed some pretty embarrassing things.  It is ironic now that I share my journal entries with the world, when this used to be one of my greatest fears.

 Motivated by this fear, (when I was about seventeen) I assembled all of my journals and stick figure drawings, dumped them in a barrel, added some lighter fluid and set them ablaze.  Even at the time I was doing it I wondered whether I was doing the right thing. 

 If I could go back in time and change that day I would.  I would have just burned the maps that showed where the journals were buried.  It would have saved me a lot of digging.

Burn Barrel © by gfpeck

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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Super Sassy

If I were one of the creators of Superman, I’d play up his super hearing a lot more.  I’d have some people saying something negative about him and then he’d just pop in, with his hands on his hips and say, “I heard that,” in kind of a sassy sarcastic tone.  Then everyone would laugh and laugh, because who wouldn’t love a sassy Superman.

Superman, 1986 © by Joe Crawford (artlung)

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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Cats Don’t Dance

Pippin McDulliver sat on the edge of his couch watching Dancing With the Stars.  He looked forward to a new episode each week.  He couldn’t quite explain why he liked it so much.  When he first heard of the show’s concept before it aired, he thought it was silly and was sure that it would only last half a season.  He watched the show out of curiosity and was hooked.  He had never missed an episode and he planned his life around it.  He had even started sketching dance costumes. 

His pet cat Birdy didn’t like the show.  Of course that was just a guess on Pippin’s part, he couldn’t read his cats mind, but Birdy got grumpy as soon as the show started.  Maybe Birdy was jealous of how DWTS absorbed Pippin’s attention and the fact that Pippin insisted on showing Birdy all of his costume sketches.  Maybe Birdy was hungry or needed to have his litter box changed, like we said who knows what goes on in the mind of a cat. 

By: Andrew Flechtner // Jenny Lockerby- Birdy Line Dancing Night

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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To Correct and Admonish

Reginald was never a very patient man. He was decisive and expected others to make rapid decisions and then follow through as soon as possible. He didn’t tolerate hesitation in himself and he sure wasn’t going to tolerate it in her. “How to correct and admonish?” he thought.

He didn’t want to seem rude or insensitive, but after all he felt she needed correction and guidance. This would be painful but, for her own good. If only he could speak dolphin.

2012-6-13 Kick Ball Game © by Gamma Man

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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Disney Fires Eeyore – Not Depressed Enough

Disney Studios announced today that Eeyore, of Winnie the Pooh fame, has been terminated and that his contract was bought out for an undisclosed sum.

“He is no longer affiliated with Disney or the Winnie the Pooh franchise,” said Jay Silkman, vice president of media relations with Disney.  ”He’s been very upbeat lately, and frankly, while we are thrilled for him on a personal level, it’s just not consistent with the character of the depressed little grey donkey, that we all came to know and love.”

Eeyore could not be reached for comment, but neighbor and  long time friend Jack Wineberg indicated that Eeyore has been taking and responded well to the prescription drug Lexapro.  ”He’s a lot more fun to be around, but I’m afraid losing his job may send him spiraling back into that negative mindset that was such a part of his character,”  Wineberg went on to say.

Eeyore © by Sparkly Kate

 

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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Whiteout

Some say he should have paid closer attention to the weather report that day. Others say it wouldn’t have mattered. We don’t really know what he was thinking when the blizzard came crashing down around him. It probably seemed that the whole world turned white. The sensation of cold so cold that it burned and took his breath away.

Blizzard #1 of 2010 - 02.06.10 © by Al Camardella Jr.

But it is likely the most painful thing was the feeling of dread, regret, and despair. Hopes and dreams crushed, destroyed, by one careless action. Some say he defiantly shook his fist at the sky as if to say “Curse you DQ, Why no lid!” as he got out of his car to go order another Butterfinger Blizzard. Something squeaked.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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Pier Memories – Roberto Comes Home

He placed the chair near the end of the pier and eased into it.  He leaned forward and remembered all those days when he ran full speed down the pier and leapt into the air and came crashing down in the cool lake water. His dog Roberto was always faithful to jump in with him and they both dog paddled to the edge of the lake and jumped again and again each time pushing themselves further and faster.  Not a care in the world and the best days of his life.

Roberto was gone now.  He had gone on to bigger and better things.  Purina commercials and all the fame and kibble that came with it.  He hadn’t seen him in 15 years (dog years), but  that was about to change.

He heard the boat before he saw it because of the fog and because his eyes were closed and he had been distracted by an oversized horsefly. 

The long boat began to take shape and Roberto’s familiar frame and hang-dog expression came into focus.  He looked good.  A smile and then a wag of the tail, then a bark, and a scratch, a twist of the head and a raising of the ears and then another bark.  Then finally a sniff and a tear.

By: Roberto before he got famous

 

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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Cloud Watching

Clouds © by mnsc

I like watching clouds.  I don’t do it hardly enough, but when I do I feel relaxed and rejuvenated.  There’s a field (parking lot) not far from my house, and I frequently go there in the warmth of the noonday sun and lay back on the cool grass (asphalt).  I watch the clouds go by and imagine them to be horses or fish or giant cloud-like balls of water vapor.

Rating 4.00 out of 5
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Reach for the stars…

When I was growing up,  I used to love listening to Casey Kasem’s American Top 40.  I remember he closed each program with the quote: “Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars”  That advice got me through a lot of tough times, although it proved tragic during the Robot Wars.  Who knew they would actually use it against us?

Robot! © by judsond

Rating 4.00 out of 5
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Easy Peasy

It is easy to get depressed.  Trust me, it’s real easy.  So when I start getting down in the dumps and get the blues.  When I start feeling sorry for myself and thinking woe is me, I say to myself (out loud), “Hey, this is easy,” and I start feeling good about how incredible I am at getting depressed and just how plain easy it is.

And then I think (out loud), “What if we had to use the scientific names for all plant and animal species in our everyday language?” Boy that would be rough, and now I’m even more depressed.  Easy peasy.

Depressed - "Ursus arctos horribilis"

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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The Short Life of Lambert McVoy Vol 2 – “To The Shed Then”

Morgan looked at Lambert as he sipped the Americano.  It was lukewarm, but still delicious and Lambert could feel the caffeine start coursing through his veins even with just one sip. 

“We can’t do this here” Morgan said.

“Do what?”  Lambert said as he took another sip of the his beverage.

“Count out the gold.  Why, what did you think I was talking about?”

“Well, I don’t know Morgan, maybe you and Skeeter were going to knock me in the head and take all the gold for yourselves,” Lambert said.

Morgan looked down and bit his lip.  “To tell you the truth, the thought did cross our mind.  Something about this gold that can take a man to a dark place.  I don’t want to be that person Lambert.  I’ve done some bad things, and I’ve hurt some people, but I ain’t going to be that kind of killer.”

Lambert believed him.  “Let’s go to the shed, spread this stuff out on the table and split it up fair and square,” Lambert said as he rose to his feet and brushed the sand off his pants.

Skeeter who had been listening while he pretended to adjust the saddle bags on the horse, sucked down the last drops of his Frappuccino and said.  “To the Shed then, it is.” 

Morgan and Lambert both nodded.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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Corn Thievery

I’ve been working on my vandalism problem.  And as an outlet for my need to vandalize, I have been going into Old man Turner’s cornfield at night and stealing some ears of corn.  I don’t exactly feel good about this, but the way I figure it, is that it is kind of a victimless crime.  (No bad consequences for me).  I get such rush out of sneaking into the field and loading up on all the corn I can carry.

And just to clarify, when I say “cornfield”, I mean house and when I say “corn” I mean silverware.  Going to sell some “corn” at the pawn shop.  Do they sell acid?

The picture below is not me, but I thought it would be helpful for you to see what corn looks like.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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