True Grit 2

I recently posted a movie review on the feature film Unstoppable. I enjoyed this type writing and received positive feeback from all of my readers. Therefore, I’ve decided to write another “entertainment” related post. I’m writing a preemptive review on the movie True Grit, based on the previews I’ve seen.

The movie stars Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon (Mystic Pizza) and is remake of the 1969 classic western True Grit 1. True Grit 1, starred John Wayne as a tough as nails U.S. Marshall (Ricky Grit) who teams up with a remarkably clean and well dressed Glen Campbell as the upstart Texas Ranger with a point to prove. They track down bandits in the wilds of 1890′s Montana and bring them to justice.

The remake (True Grit 2) follows the same plot, but features Jeff Bridges as John Wayne. Bridges recently did outstanding work in Crazy Heart and channels some that character’s drunken slurred speech into this portrayal of Ricky Grit. The movie is set in 1973 in Alpharetta Georgia and is action packed from start to finish. Written and directed by the Cohen brothers, (No Country for Old Men), Josh Brolin also makes a cameo appearance as a reluctant villain and general store clerk.  [**SPOILER ALERT**] He is quickly dispatched in the first 37 seconds of the movie, but is expected to get major Oscar buzz. Bottom line: True Grit 2 is the best Matt Damon movie of the year and John Wayne would be proud of True Grit 2.  Jeff Bridges is also in Tron.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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“Ello – Welcome to the Wal-Mart”

As I mentioned I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been knee deep in other projects.  After I recovered from the bucket incident, I got a job as a greeter at Wal-mart.  Unfournately, not only am I no longer “employed” there, but I’m not allowed within 200 feet of the premises.

Basically, after a few days on the job, I decided to class up the place by greeting people in a thick English accent. “Ello, welcome to Wal-mart, auh (are) you lookin for some figgy puddin, auh (are) you? The patrons loved this (one guy even shoved me to the floor), but my boss, not so much.

However, within a week I was terminated and escorted off the premises by two English bobbies (touché).  My boss cited my frequent profanity laced tyraids and all the shoplifting I was doing, but I’m pretty sure no one knew of about those things, so my best guess is that he hated the English accent.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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Tree Talk

If trees could talk I would love to hear what they had to say. But what if I didn’t understand their language or what if their accents were so thick that their constant chatter just sounded like some grating noise. Like nails on a chalkboard, but more treelike. This noise would seep down, down into my brain and I would be forced to chop them down. I would chop them and chop them until they stopped talking. Then I would listen and all I would hear was silence. Except for one tree that was still moaning, then I’d have to chop some more. Man, I’m sure tired from all this chopping.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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Once an Eagle – Johnny’s Horrible Choice

Eagle from Kerala - closeup view © by Rameshng

As many of you know I a big animal lover and I sometimes think about what it would be like to be an animal.  I even have an idea for a children’s book where a little kid finds a magic lamp, but instead of getting three wishes from Robin Williams, he gets to decide what animal he’d like to be for a day.  The plot would involve him making a horrible choice and having a miserable traumatizing day as an animal.  This way he learns to appreciate being a little boy and how he has it so much better than any animal.  This is kind of a Fantasy Island formula.  Remember how the guest would get what they wished for, but it never turned out to be what they really wanted?

So, as I have been crafting this children’s book plot, I have spent a lot of time (12 hours per day since Labor Day) thinking about what animal I would choose to be.  I did this because I think it is important for me to get this settled before I can write with intellectual honesty about Johnny’s Horrible Choice.  (Working Title)

After much time, research, and gut wrenching deliberation, I decided I would like to be an eagle.  I feel this is a very good choice for the following reasons.  First, you are protected from man, in that it is not legal to hunt eagles.  This is not a guarantee that you won’t get some poacher who takes you out or that you don’t get sucked in to a jet engine, but it lessens the odds of being killed by the ultimate apex predator, man.  Secondly, while there other animals in the wild that can kill an eagle (grizzly bear, cougar, etc), being able to fly reduces the chance of being cornered by some aggressive predator without a way out.  Again, not 100% safe, but safer than being a rabbit (17th choice in my latest list).  Also, I have always dreamed of flying.  I think this would be the coolest thing in the world and being able to exercise so much freedom and go wherever I wanted would be exhilarating.  But since I can’t afford a plane ticket, I figured flying as an eagle would be the next best thing.

Finally, I’d like to have the keen eyesight of an eagle.  Being able to see a dessert mouse from 20 miles away would be a neat trick.   But at the end of the day, as good as it would be to be an eagle, I’ve changed my mind.  I now choose (effective immediately) to be a cockroach.  This way I could survive a nuclear war.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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Memory Closet

It was just a closet.  Nothing special.  Clothes hanging on hangers.  But it was more.  It housed garments that triggered memories and evoked emotion.  I flipped through the garments, sliding the hangers and examining each article. Each item revealed a story. Memories of evening with friends, of long walks by the lake with Mary.  Some still had the smells from the last time I wore them strengthening the  memories and making the images in my mind more intense, more real.  Some of the items triggered no memories at all.  Some still had their tags on them and hung on the rack like a rejected stepchild.

My waxing nostalgic and trip down memory lane came crashing down when I realized that I was not looking in my closet, but had wondered into Baby Gap.

Rating 4.00 out of 5
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The Tragic Life of Alligator Mike

Alligator Mike cuffed and rolled his blue jeans up to his knees. He eased into the muddy water and felt the slimy mud squeeze between his toes. He had done this a hundred times, but each time he was terrified and thrilled all at once. He saw the gator’s head protruding out of the muddy surface of Buck Creek. He lunged forward in one gliding motion bringing all of his 225 pounds down own the reptiles back. The animals responded by thrashing and slashing the water with its massive tail. The battle was over in a matter of minutes and Alligator Mike was no more. He had lost this battle. He fought one too many gators and misjudged the size of this old beast. The gator was too powerful and he pulled Alligator Mike underwater until his lungs filled with the milky brown water from the creek. Years later they found Mikes wallet downstream. In some twisted attempt to add to the tragedy of his horrific death all the cash had been removed from the wallet.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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Smelly Ross and His Frumpy Clothes

The first time he saw Ross he was a little taken back. He smelled and he looked odd, but it was hard to narrow it down to one odd feature. His nose was normal, but the rest of his body seemed like it didn’t fit. His clothes were floppy and oversized and he shuffled about instead of walking like a normal person. He reminded him of a monkey he’d seen at the circus when he was a kid. But he was not a monkey and he didn’t throw feces. He was however, a bear dressed up like a man. A man named Ross the Hobo Bear who could ride a bike and talk like a person.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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